A Reunion Gone Great!
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I am 37 years old, I was adopted as a baby from Portland, Oregon. I was not hard for me to find her, like it is for so many adoptees. I was lucky that way, since the state of Oregon opened up the records.
My oldest son, who is 17, asked me about our gene pool. These were questions I could never answer for them, or even myself. I did know I was adopted from about the age of 6. It was not my adopted parents that told me, which I hated then and still hate to this day. My parents should have told me. I did not believe her, but they confirmed it. That was one of three discussions regarding my adoption. The next came as a rebellious teenage girl, I came out with the statement, 'You're not my parents, you can't tell me what to do!'. The last talk about my adoption with my adoptive parents came as an adult. I asked, and all they said was they did not wish to discuss it, and even if they did talk it over, they didn't know anything.
Now, the search question of adoption came to me through my own children. I would never leave a question hanging on them, the way my adoptive parents have done to me. Any subject a child wants to discuss should be discussed. If you bypass it once, they might not come to you a second time.
So I ordered my pre-adoption papers from the state of Oregon. When I got my papers I started looking on the ancestry.com message board looking and searching anything that had my birth surname on it.
I then came across a message on the message board that a girl in Virginia was searching for the same person I was. The message posted was written two years prior, but I prayed that the e-mail address was still good.
When I e-mailed this girl, I think she thought I was from the ancestry people, because when she e-mailed me back, much to my surprise, she said that her reunion with her birth Mom went wonderfully. I was so happy the e-mail was still good. Anyhow, I then wrote another e-mail to her, telling her that I think we were looking for the same woman, and we could be sisters.
I got another e-mail from a very shocked girl. She said she would ask her birth mom if there was another baby she had given up. Well she did.
I now had a birth Mom, and a sister. What a wonderful thing, I have always wanted to have a sister, and now I do.
In the next few weeks me and my sister made our plans to fly to Oregon and meet up with our birth mother. My plane landed at the Portland airport, I wore the cowboy hat that I had on in the photo I sent to her. She held a single rose in her hand as I exited the plane. She gave me the biggest hug I think I have ever had. It was at that moment, that I knew deep in my soul that Moms that give up their babies for adoption really do love us. Here I was in the arms of my mother, as we let go, we looked at each other, WOW, do we look alike!
I stayed with her at her house for the entire weekend. I was introduced to my Uncle who is great, by the way. I also met all of her friends at a dinner party they held in our honor. My sister is a year and a half younger than I am, I love being the oldest. I also love having a sister. We e-mail each other all the time, as well as my birth Mom. At the party, all my birth mother's friends started to notice that we all have the same hand movements, the same laugh, and as it turns out we have the same taste in men as well. We have all been married twice and we are all single today.
I love my now extended family, I call my birth mother J-Mom, due to the fact I can't call her by her first name out of respect, and I can't call her Mom for the same reason. Having met them is the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life, next to the birth of my four children. Just to know she did think about me and my sister, to know inside that the love was always there, that she cared enough to talk to her friends over the years about us. To know she wondered how we grew up, if it all was good and if we were happy. Even if she did not raise us, she worried like a Mom does. She is now, a Mom, a real Mom, and a good one.
I would like to thank the ancestry.com for being there for all of us that use it and needed it to complete a missing link. I would also like to tell people to be open regarding the subject of adoption, the old closed subject that I was subject to is an old fashioned way of thinking. If you know, tell. Don't hold back.
I would also like to tell people to don't be afraid of meeting or at least writing the letter, or making the phone call if you have the chance, you might just find what you feel you have been missing all your life. You might find the empty spot, that I think all of us adoptees feel from time to time through our life, gets filled with just one call or mail or e-mail. It is worth a chance.
Thanks for listening.
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