After the Adoption...
I am a 38-year-old woman who was adopted. My mother relinquished her rights to me at birth, but I lived with foster parents until I was adopted at 18 1/2 months old. I wish I could share a joyous story about the gratefulness I feel towards my adopted parents but this story is quite the contrary.
I read adoption news regularly because, among obvious reasons, I look for success stories from those who have experienced victimization at the hands of adopted parents and how they find peace in their lives.
My childhood was saturated with boundary violations. My adopted parents were separated by the time I entered school. My father was a child molester who violated me and later went on to REPRODUCE with my step-sister (yes, his daughter). I was the only black child in an entirely white school. I developed asthma as a result of the environment and I was extremely poor.
Living in denial is hard and facing the truth has been hard. Many of the people who are dearest to me do not know of the terrible incestuous acts that were performed on myself and my sister.
Although this adoption took place over 30 years ago, it is clear that a thorough investigation was not completed before I was placed in the home. The house itself, should have been condemned and there could have been no indication that I would have a happy or healthy life there.
During my regular search for my mother and sporadic search for my father, I was told that my mother changed her mind and came back to claim me before the adoption was actually final but Social Services told her that it was too late because they thought I would be best served with a married couple.
I am a light-skinned African American woman. I was born on October 29, 1964. I was born in the Latrobe Hospital in Latrobe, PA. The Indiana County Division of Social Services handled the adoption.
I have learned to accept that I was the victim of molestation, and that it is a part of me. I have forgiven the Social Workers who unknowingly placed me in such a harmful situation. I have sought out therapy to face my fears. I have overcome feeling guilty and ashamed. But I have not been able to ease this strong, burning desire to know my biological family. I NEED to know. Please call me, send pictures, send an autobiography, or e-mail me. All information will be confidential.
Contact information:
Nancy A. Ryle
2 Kathy Court
New Castle, De 19720
302.325.2218
302.983.5313
Email:
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© Nancy A. Ryle 2003
