Emotions and the Process as a Birth Mother

I feel nervous about sending this message out. Today is a big day for me ... I've signed papers for the adoption order. If someone would have asked me where I thought I'd be a year ago I'd be shocked to know that I'd be ok with adopting out such a beautiful little child!

Danielle was born on Sunday at 12:39 am and Icouldn't wipe the smile off of my face after her birth. I'm a 26 yr. old mother of three awesome little boys and was shocked to know that I was able to make a girl!! The adoptive parents were in the delivery room with me and it seemed that there were angels surrounding us all and guiding us through such a difficult but joyous process. The nurse's name was faith and the doctor was extremely warm, calm and attentive.

I still have issues with the birthfather because he ceased all contact with me half wat throught the pregnancy and I feel very hurt that someone could walk away from there own blood with no curiousity and responsibility. I know that he cares but this process is so huge and ovewhelming at times that I wish I could share this with him... but it' obviously for the better given mine and his history.

I recently got back together with the father of my boys and he is one of the most amazing men I've ever known. He's not perfect but he loves me to death and I'm so grateful for his support through this all.

I'm so looking forward to hearing from other birthmothers, especially someone with a sort of similar story.

It hurt so much to say goodbye to Danielle because she is so perfect and sometimes I feel guilty that now that I am unable to see her that it just doesn't hurt so much and I feel that I should. The most important thing I keep telling myself is that she is surrounded by love from me and my extended family and that I'm always going to be as close as she and the adoptive parents are comfortable with since our agreement is semi-open.
She's in good hands... ttfn.

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Credits: Carmen