Our Failed Adoption

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I am hoping for light at the end of the tunnel. I married my husband 4 years ago and have unexplainable infertility. We have been through all the medical treatments that I could handle. We decided to adopt through an open adoption agency. They tell you to network in your community and get the word out that you are looking to adopt. The first one was one of my co-workers 18 year old daughter. My co-worker was raising her daughters first child and could not raise another.

The birthmother had no desire to keep this child. We got a lawyer and her one as well. She spoke with me on the phone once and asked us to parent her child and told us the reasons she had to put him up for adoption. She had no desire to meet us and felt confident that her parents would have only picked good people. We took the bmom parents to dinner to discuss the adoption.

All was great. One week before she was due we recieved a call from the lawyer who told us she would be placing with a couple in CA. I think she felt uncomfortable we were in the same state. Tons of questions to this day unanswered. Our 2nd experiance happened last week. A friend of my husbands. This one felt like a sure thing. We saw her quite a bit. Bought her things, took her out for dinner, etc. For about 5 months she became a part of our lives. She called the day she was going to the hospital. We were outside the room listening to our baby be born and heard her first cry. They invited us in and handed us the baby. She was beautiful. They asked us to name it, told us it looked like us, and thanked us for adopting her. I fed her and took her down to the nursery. To make a long story short. We spent our 72 hours in the hospital. She changed her mind and decided to parent the child 7 days after birth. We were devistated. Now we are about to give this process another try. I'm so scared I will not trust another birthmother again.

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Credits: Michele

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