I Still Love Them

The last time I personally saw my sons in 1991, when I was asked to sign papers to get my boys returned home, or so I was told. But it wasn't, so CSD lied to me to get me to sign adoption papers after 2 years of parenting classes psych evaluations, working, and visitations. And keep in mind, I was 16 and in a foster home myself when they took my son from me and left me.

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Shortly after I turned of age is when I was tricked into signing adoption papers during a weekly visitation. They pulled me into another room with like 8 people there saying I was getting my boys back and that I had to sign a release form for them to start coming home next week, like a visitation, but I would gradually get more and more time with them leading to full time so the boys get use to being with me again. Anyway, that's the hunk of bull line they gave me to make me sign.

I had no idea what it really was; they wouldn't let me read the papers. They said if I didn't sign that day, I would miss out on the following week and that all the people were there to witness it. I was told they wouldn't be available next week if I took the time to read the papers like I wanted to. I felt like I had to sign, or I would not get my boys back. Anyway, I came back the next week to pick them up to go home for visitation. They threatened me and told me to get out of the building or they would call the police.

I didn't know my rights I was never told. I was lied to and I didn't even know about revocation of consent. Anyway, that is what really happened. I will swear on a stack of Bibles in front of God and a judge that will listen or help in my ending days and may the thieves and liars suffer the consequences and wrath of God's ten commandments for breaking them. Also, keep in mind they where taken under lies and never returned and signed away under false papers by a agency that should be under a lot of supervision from stealing teen mothers' children. I am willing to take them to court as well as the abusive foster/adoptive mother, Karen who gave my child a bloody mouth in front of me and an entire parenting class, trying to reverse it to see if I would blow up on her. If I had reacted, they would have said I had an anger problem, trying to delay the return of my children.

I understand your point of view about it being illegal to search for a minor child, but I have a different path I am taking to get my children back. I was never told my rights or about revocation of consent let alone, I wasn't told the papers they made me sign were in fact adoption papers. As you can read below and almost anywhere on the net if you type in my name or any of my children's names, I made sure I was very assertive posting everywhere I can. In my case alone, there was never any sign of abuse or neglect. They could find my son was only one and a half months old.

My GOD, who in their demented and twisted little mind would harm a little baby, let alone their own baby? A twisted person maybe, but not me. Legal Aid wouldn't take the case back then because CSD was too big to take down and my 30 days was past due to fight them. I didn't even know about this 30-day thing, let alone anything else they pulled on me.

Who would help a 16-year-old girl getting her son taken away from her only because she was raised by the same system that took her children since age 11, and while she was still in custody and in a foster home when she got pregnant? She had the baby at home: not in a hospital, no help, no drugs, and no doctors. I had a nice, healthy, white baby boy I was proud to be the mother of.

The foster mother was jealous and trying to get me put in a separate foster home and keep my son in her home, or so she tried, but it backfired. I was only 16 when they took my son from me while I was in a foster home, and all hell broke loose between her and me. She pulled the phone cord out of the wall when I tried calling the police and screaming for help. Who will they believe? A foster child, or a foster parent adult? Stupid question, huh? We all know the answer is the foster parent or adult. So they do not get heat. So please don't tell me what I already know; I lived it. Nothing I am doing is more illegal than what they did to me. I will search and find my son.

Why didn't anyone step up for me nor tell me my rights or that there was other help out there to fight them other than their court-appointed attorneys that lie just to settle a case? They have been paid to settle in favor of foster parents, because I was an unmarried teen in custody and in a foster home myself when my son was taken and I was left behind. My babies' father was around; he didn't walk out on me or our children like most teen fathers. He came from a foster home, too.

Starting in 1989, at 16, I took parenting classes for 2 years, visitations, psych evaluations, and unnecessary drug classes they made me take from 1987-88, which I passed with flying colors. This all happened because they accused me of being something I wasn't.

What happened to innocent until proven guilty? In my case I was innocent and violated. I was in a foster home, sheesh. I barely left the house; I spent every hour with my son. I did everything they said. If they said jump, I asked how high. I trusted them. Who wouldn't, being in the system since age 11?

Most of you are lucky: you did not have to go through this. I have a lot of trust issues brought upon me more so after I was ripped from my own mother's home. I never wanted to leave. This system is so messed up, plain and simple, to benefit people other than the birth parents. Lucky you if you get a good judge, foster home caseworker, and adoptive parents. I wasn't so lucky.

Yes, there are many bad apples in this world. Be thankful you never met them, but know I did. So be it. What is done is done, but I will not give up on my kids. They deserve better than a foster/adoptive mom giving them bloody mouths in front of everyone and not one of the workers said anything, but I did. I will not sit back and take it any more. I am standing up, and everyone will now listen, because I am not a teen mom anymore. I am an educated working adult mother. There is a loss in family values in the U.S. and that is a sad thing.

I loved then and still love my children. I never harmed nor endangered any of my children in any way. Even medical reports show that much. They tried to find drugs in my children, and they all came out negative. They tried everything to keep my kids from me keeping in mind. They are suppose to help people in their custody and tell them their options: WIC, Legal Aid, Welfare Sec. 8, etc. All I got was WIC, because the nurse told me about it while I was pregnant. I even had a house nurse checking on me and my baby 2- 3 times weekly before he was taken. So I was doing well; it is documented. CSD, in no way, shape, or form ever did anything legally with me to help me get them back. They would say one thing to me a week before court to get my guard down then pop some unexpected lie up on the judge to delay me getting my boys back to also try to get me to do another run-around test, class, or change workers or lawyers on me.

The bottom line is...we shouldn't be forced to give our children up knowingly or unknowingly, and we should not be lied to. And we have the right to know all our legal rights, even as teen mothers in foster care. And we should all be told about the other help out there to get us on our feet if we do fall down.

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BM ISO 3 Boys born in Oregon
J.J.M. 6/29/89
J.J.M. 12/15/90
C.K.V.M.G. 4/11/92
BD name For Chris: J.E.G.
only by marriage not blood real father is named below
BM name: Tina Marie Rutherford / Ex: Gordon
BD name: Jeffery Allen Marchand
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Boys last seen in 1993 by their father in Oregon with Foster/ Adoptive Parents "Karen and Steve"
I've been told they are all placed together. By Vital Records in Oregon; that was helpful

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