Meaningless...Until Now

My name is Melissa, and I am almost twenty. I was adopted at three days old. I was very rageful growing up. All I ever wanted was my "real Mom." My adoptive parents were very neglectful. I was mainly raised by my cleaning lady.

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When I was thirteen, I became suicidal. The doctors asked if there was anything that would make me feel less depressed. The only thing I wanted was my "real Mom." My parents had accidentally seen my Mom's name when she handed the adoption papers to the clerk. It was an unusual name. They had also seen her as surviving in her fathers obituary, so they found out where she was living.

Surprisingly, she was listed in the phone book. My Mom called her, and she agreed to write to me. She did write, but it wasn't what I was hoping for. It was vague and nondescriptive. I was disappointed and slipped back into depression. I would write her and have to wait until my birthday to receive a card.

I stopped writing for a year. A little over a year ago, I wrote her telling her how hurt I was that she never responded to my letters, or even tell me that she wasn't ready to answer any questions. Surprisingly, I got a response I was looking for. She apologized for not responding. She said she was scared I would be disappointed with her.

She told me some stuff about herself, and it turns out we are very similar. Now we communicate weekly by e-mail. I have sent her a few pictures of me. She said we look very similar. I have asked her for a picture for well over a year; last week, she finally sent one to me. We do look similar. I still haven't met her, but I am definitely close because today I got an e-mail saying once she gets her work schedule we will get together. I have really come out of my depression. I got my own apartment, I am in the process of getting a job, and I start college (soon). Those were all things that were all meaningless to me until recently.

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