Not the Fairy Tale I Had Imagined
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I decided to begin my search about three months ago, at age 42. I had no idea where to start. Playing around with my computer I typed in "adoptee". I was amazed at what came up. I started posted and searching every site I could find. I started receiving emails from search angels, and other kind people offering their time and information with me. I was told to send for my non-ID, which I did.
I was disappointed when I received the papers back, because it was not the fairy tale I had always imagined. I found out my bmom had been married twice and she was separated from her second husband and seeing her first husband when she got pregnant with me. I also found out that I had two sisters and three brothers from my bmom's marriages/relationships. My bmom never told my bfather that she was pregnant. He was serving in the navy. The information also stated that no one had been searching for me, which I could not understand why.
Probably about a month ago, some lady emailed me with the amended name of one of my brothers. About two weeks later I decided to write him a letter explaining who I was, what my intentions were, and it was totally up to him if he wanted to meet. Two days later I received a call from his wife. She was very excited, but said her husband would most likely not react as she had. He was very bitter and always said he wanted no part in finding any bfamily. But, one of my sisters was also adopted by the same people. She said she would contact her and give her my information. Five minutes later she called. Didn't know either about all of us. Her Adopted mother was involved with the same people as our bparents and has always known (but never would tell) the secrets behind our adoptions. We made a three-way call to her adopted mom and she asked her questions. She gave us a girls name. I figured it had to be our other sister. When I checked the birth records for that year, there was only one with that first name. It was her, my full sister which would lead me to my bfather, and it did. I found out through them there are two more boys out there. He says he doesn't think I am his daughter but he is willing to take a DNA test. I am still searching for bmom, and four brothers.
The point I am trying to make by telling you this story is that you really need to be ready to accept whatever you uncover, and it most likely is not what you always dreamed it to be. Had I started my search at 18, 19 or even 25 years old, I do not think I could have swallowed all the drama I have uncovered. My mother had I think 9 or 10 kids, most of them have different fathers. There has been abuse, abandonment, etc.
My search will be complete not when I find my siblings, but when I find my bmom, so I can tell her whatever has happened it's o.k. I want her to be able to have peace within her, and when she lays to rest. She is aprox. 65 years old now, I understand she has a drinking problem and always has. I think if my bmom could see how wonderful life is for all of us kids, her grandkids, and great grandkids, she might find some forgiveness for herself.
Thank you for listening,
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© Jennifer Eynon2003
