Stories Told Through the Eyes of a Birthmother

~Age 21~

She just found out her boyfriend of nine months was seeing someone else. Not only that~ that someone else was pregnant TOO! How dare he! She packed up her things and hit the road. Moved into an efficiency apartment.

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She was scared and all alone. There were complications with the pregnancy. She had support from family and friends... but not the kind she needed.

Adoption was an option that was introduced to her. She was unsure. Six months into the pregnancy she decided she had to do something.
She called a place in Texas... talked to a wonderful lady.

She has decided.

She packed up her things and moved to Texas. Her parents went with her. She was scared when they left. Cried all alone in her room. There were many at this place in Texas just like her. She spent Christmas and her birthday without friends and family.

January 6, 1992 a bouncing 7lb 2oz baby boy arrived! She held him so tight. Visited him often. They wouldn't let her feed him but still she got to hold him and watch him sleep. She called him Anthony Brent. The parents she picked out; they were a young couple. They already had adopted before and they were Methodist. She felt secure in knowing they would be the right couple. Their pictures were wonderful and their profile amazing. Just what she wanted for her first-born.

Her grandmother aunt visited Anthony Brent. They agreed he was most precious. She knew she had to do it. She had to let go. This was the ultimate sacrifice all For The Love of a Child.

Her mother came January 13th for "that day". She sat in the judge's chambers, her hand in her mothers. She agreed with all he had to say and signed those papers. They boarded a plane later that afternoon. She cried the whole way home.

She struggled with her decision for many months. She even tried to enter the window of death. After months of help and support she finally understood. The decision wasn't the wrong one it was out of selfless love.

She remembers that day like it was yesterday but is confident she did the right thing. Anthony Brent will be nine soon. She hasn't heard anything or seen a picture of him since he turned one. She writes that place in Texas once a year in hopes that there would be something to share. But as the year previous ~ nothing from them.

She still feels confident in her decision. He is getting the life he deserves and she couldn't give. He must be happy...he must be. No news is usually good news right?

~Age 27~

This time not only abandoned... but violated.

She trusted someone she thought she knew. This man lied and betrayed her. And he left one day when she was at work. He took her money and ran. They searched for him with an old credit card receipt only to find this man had been deceased! Stolen identity!

She panicked and feared all the worse. She contemplated abortion.. but it wasn't for her. You see she isn't against abortion... that is a woman's choice... but it just didn't feel right for her.

She was about 5 months pregnant, at home for Christmas. Surrounded by love. She has one little boy from her previous marriage. Barely making it alone! She saw her sisters with their husbands. Their kids all around. Look at how happy they are...secure with love. How can she do this? She knew she couldn't. She felt the baby move within her and she just knew.

She made her decision.

With much dismay not all were happy, but she knew in the heart she had to do it. No money since the business she worked for went under... how could she raise yet another?

The ones that judged her were the ones she needed most...but they will never understand her decision. They were happily married, secured with love...what did she have to offer?

Sure she had love and faith... but those two alone don't pay! As she drove home she cried the whole way. Thinking of ways to change her decision. She looked in the rear view mirror and saw her 4 yr old child....she knew she had to do it. Someday he would understand she told herself. But she had to do it.

Not only for the life inside her but for but for the child with her. She called a place in New Jersey. She was still thinking of ways out of this decision. They asked her to come see them at their office. She took the four-hour drive for advice and comfort.

They didn't pressure her. They didn't tell her she had to do it. They showed her her options. She was happy she had someone that understood.

November she moved to be closer to the place in New Jersey. She visited often. She was given profiles to look over of parents. These people just jumped out at her. They are from Boston. A very happy couple just wanting to fill their hearts with the child they couldn't have.

This was the couple!

April 29, 1998 a beautiful 6lb 2oz baby girl was born. She would call her Allee. She held her close. And told her she loved her.

May 5th was the day. A day to remember. She wasn't going to meet the parents. But decided last minute she had to.

They walked into the room... tears started to flow. Not only from her but also from all that were in that room. They sat and talked for what seemed like forever. She walked out the door...held her baby daughter.

She kissed her Allee on the forehead and said she was doing this for her and that she loved her.

She walked in that room with the baby held close. She said to the mother... "Here is your daughter."

They told her they loved the name Allee but already chose Lily. She knew that that was the perfect name for their daughter. She gets continued updates on her Precious Lily. She is confident her decision was all done For the Love of A Child.

Many people have judged her for the decisions she has made. Usually she just ignores them. She did the best for her babies...and she will never regret it not for one second. The ones that judge her will never understand. Until they lived it then she will listen to their harsh words. No one can judge another for doing a deed of pure love, selfless love. All For the Love of A Child.

She sits here today and wonders about the person reading her story. Does this person understand? Does this person judge her? Does this person see her as being bad because she gave, not only one child, but two children away?

Then she thinks what if the person reading this couldn't have children... What if the person reading this tried every possible way to conceive a child and just couldn't... What would the reader do then? Would the reader consider adoption? Probably so... And where would that adopted child come from?

A Birthmother

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